In one of my previous post I had written something about perceptions. We perceive the colors based on the interceptions of our brain on the chemical reactions happening on our eyes. So it is not necessary that the objects have to be in the same color as we perceive. According to us what we perceive is the truth and we call someone who sees different colors contrary to what we see us color blinded. But it is not necessary to be true. It is just our faith on our eyes and brain. There are several animals which see colors contrary to what we see. Don’t we know only a bandwidth of light is visible to us when some animals can see the lights which are invisible to us? The same rule applies to every belief we have. So we need to understand that the bandwidth of our knowledge is less, especially about the God. Every perception about Him could be true. It is like the old Indian story about blind men and elephant.
Once I consider God as my friend. But everything changed.There was time I was so confused about Him. It was the time when some people couldn't relate me as their friend just because I don’t belong to their religion. It is the time when I hated all religions being a barrier to attain the universal love. So I hated God and doubted the existence of God. But He was generous enough to answer the questions and doubts of a poor boy. I asked “If you are real, why can’t I see you?” He replied “You have seen me before, several times. In fact, you see me every day”. I was shocked and asked “Where and when?” Just like a lightning my memories flashed in the LCD display of my mind. I can bet that it was high quality 3D vision you can ever see. He showed each and every person in my life who cared, touched, prayed, lived, laughed, cried and sacrificed for me. They are the ones through whom I have felt and experienced God and his love. Each and every moment of my life is always been filled with unconditional love and care. I have seen Him in every smile for me and in every tear for me.
I can talk for years about the love and affection they have shown me. But let me just tell about one face which flashed into my thoughts when I asked God that question. Her name is Sandhya. First time when I met her in Pudhiyadhor Urapakkam, she was 5 years old. Pudhiyadhor is an NGO in which I am always proud to be part of. It has given me unconditional love and affection. Sandhya is just an example of the love I got there. It was almost four years had passed after I met her for the first time. I had finished my college and was working in an IT company. She had grown too. Because of work pressure, I couldn't go to Pudhiyadhor for few weeks. When I went one Saturday after a long time, I couldn't see anyone at our Pudhiyadhor Center I called Sengadhir who was taking care of Pudhiyadhor daily in our absence. She said that the kids have school on that day. Being disappointed I started walking back. Then I heard a voice, “Anna”. It was the same cute little girl Sandhya. She conveyed her happiness on meeting me after long time. She informed me that they have constructed a new house and had the house warming ceremony two weeks back. She invited and compelled me to visit her new home. Unwilling to disappoint her, I went to her house. It is in a slum behind my college hostel. The house was too small but they were happy. I could see the happiness in her face.
She showed me the house warming ceremony photos. I could see the happiness filled in the eyes of everyone in the photo. Sandhya and her sister Sangeetha were wearing new silk dresses and looking like little angels. She was so enthusiastic and happy to show every relation of her in the photos. Then she said something which I can never forget. She said “Everybody came for the ceremony, anna. But if you were there, I might have been happier”. I am no way related to her. I haven’t given and done anything for her. But she, who is just 8 or 9 year old, showed me the unconditional love I can’t ask for. Unable to control my tears, I left her house immediately.
When this incident flashed in my mind, I was thousands of kilometers away from her. But I could see the love of my God in her. Do I really deserve this much love? No. But God is generous enough to love the boy who doubts Him.
If God could be seen in the form of love, why there is hatred and on His name? Why people go around the world in search of Him, when they could see Him right next to them? He replied to this too. But I have to write another post to explain it.