Pudhiyadhor in blog

Pudiyador Urappakkam is now on the blogosphere @ http://pudiyador- urappakkam. blogspot. com/ The purpose of the blog is to enable discussions and make decisions regarding day to day as well as long term operations at Pudiyador Urappakkam. The core group will try to centralize our updates here from now on. We believe it will facilitate discussions and also keep people updated with current activities at Urappakkam irrespective of where you are. We expect your ideas and suggestions through this which will help us to take Pudhiyadhor on the right path to help the community in a better way. So come on contribute actively- Lets continue the good work we started.

Pudhiyadhor website: www.pudiyador.org

A Great Step...

Pudhiyadhor… Urapakkam which has become a part of my life, celebrates its fifth birthday on 19^th May, 2009. In the past four years it has come across lot of challenges and success. Before talking about one of our dreams which is fulfilled now, I shall give a brief description about Pudhiyadhor.. Urapakkam.

 

                   Pudhiyadhor… Urapakkam is an organization started by the young bloods of Crescent Engineering College by the inspiration of Narayanan Uncle. We have adopted a community of people in Urapakkam. The primary occupation of this community of people is astrology. They predict others future but fail to safe guard their children’s future. They didn’t understand the necessity of education. Once we started Pudhiyadhor.. it has become a part of the life of those kids. We help them in their studies and teach extra curricular activities like theatre play, bharathanatyam, classical music, karate, yoga, etc to improve their confidence. Our aim is to give all the opportunities to them to make them a valuable citizen to the country. Little by little, the number of drop outs from schools has reduced. At the time we started, there were no graduates in that entire community, now some students are going to colleges. The kids have showcased their extra curricular activities which they were taught in Pudhiyadhor.. in several conferences have got lot applauses. It is really amazing to see the confidence it has built in them.

 

                 Another major problem we face in that community is girls dropping out from school after 8^th standard. But a change has occurred and a girl named as Anbarasi has completed 12^th standard. She is the first girl to complete 12^th standard in that community. We consider it as a great success of pudhiyadhor..

 

                Still lots of things have to be changed to make them a developed and cultured community. Some of them are,

1. Preventing the drug addiction of men and reducing the deaths because of it.
2. Preventing marriage of girls at a very young age.
3. To make the parents to understand the importance of their participation in the development of their kids.
4. To make them understand the health problems they face genetically, because of marriages within the community. (Most of the people over here have cataract problem even from the age of 1. The average life time of women here is 45.)

 

              We are entering into the fifth year with the confidence that we can bring the change in the upcoming days. Please pray for those people to come up in life leaving the superstitious and backward principles.

 

              To know more about Pudhiyadhor, you can login to www.pudiyador.org . You too can contribute to the cause through your volunteer participation and donations.

22 kids on the road

Recently I came to know about an incident which hurt me a lot. I thought to share it with you all. In order to prepare for the Pudhiyadhor.. Urappakkam summer camp, I and Sengadhir madam went to Tambaram Market to buy the required items. When the shop keeper was packing the items which we asked for, I and Shengadhir were discussing about the things happening in Urapakkam. The shop owner was listening to our conversation. He understood that we are from a social service organization. When we were about to leave after getting the items, he told something which shocked us.

                                                Two months before, around 22 children have been left on the road in midnight in a village which is few kilometers away from Tambaram. Those children have been brought in a van to that place from an orphanage. It seems that the organizers of that orphanage didn’t have enough money to take care of those children. So they have left them on the road. My opinion is: they should have asked for help from the government if they couldn’t take care of those children or should have sent to any orphanage which is ready to take care of those children. It is inhuman to throw them on the road. If those children had got into the hands of any social enemies, the life of those children might have lost.

                       But fortunately, they are now in the hands some good people. The people around that place have taken those kids to a church near by and taking care of them. Though they very generous to help those kids, they are so poor that they are fining difficult to spend for them. People who are interested to help those kids can contact me. Though I am not directly in touch with them, through that shop owner I can take you there and make sure your help reaches them.

(N.B. : The image above is not the real image of those kids.)

On my journey

People used to say that the only thing which is unchangeable is the change in life. My life is also changed. In the journey of my life I have taken a new role. A student has changed into an associate of a multinational company. Now I have the responsibility of taking care of my family, my commitment to the society as a citizen, to be loyal employee etc. Life is like a journey in train as everyone says. In my journey I have traveled a long distance. God has made my life comfortable and pleasant by giving lots and lots of good people around me, who travel along with me at different parts of my journey. They came into my life like angels and made my life like a heaven. But unfortunately they get down at different stations and continue their travel in different directions. Now I have crossed one of such station where most of my friends who traveled along with me for the past four years of college life have got down from my train. I miss all of them. I’m praying to God to provide opportunities so that I may meet my friends on my way. New passengers have got into my compartment. They have come from different places. I’m just keep on watching them, hearing them and trying to understand their nature so that I won’t make their journey uncomfortable through my words and deeds. Though my life has changed, I’m the same old Ronald, who finds difficult to start conversation with the new people around. Some think that I’m very much reserved and always moody. I don’t know how to say that I’m just waiting for their friendship, to make my life a heaven as always. Ok. I have to continue my journey. Thanks for reading on the way of your journey. Take care. Bye.

என்னாளும் மகிழ்வே

நாம் பல வேளைகளில் எதேனும் தவறு செய்துவிட்டாலோ, தோல்வியைக் கண்டுவிட்டால் அதற்கான காரணத்தைப் பிறர் மீது சுமத்துவோம். நம் தவறுகளை ஏற்றுக் கொள்ளும் துணிவு நம்மிடம் இருப்பதில்லை. இது சரியா?

 

அது போல், நம்முள் பலர் தங்கள் மகிழ்ச்சியை பிறரிடம் தேடுகிறோம். அவர்கள் இல்லையென்றால் வாழ்வையே இழந்ததாக எண்ணுகிறோம். நமது மகிழ்ச்சியின் திரவுகோலை பிறரிடம் கொடுத்து தொலைத்து விட்டு சோகக் கடலில் ஆழ்கிறோம். இது சரியா?

 

மேலும் சிலர் பணத்திலும், செல்வாக்கிலும், புகழ்ச்சியிலும் மகிழ்ச்சியை தேடி தங்கள் வாழ்வையும் நிம்மதியையும் இழக்கின்றனர். இது சரியா?

 

மனித வாழ்க்கை உறவுகளால் கட்டியமைக்கப்பட்டது தான். குடும்பத்தையும் சமுகத்தையும் உதரித் தள்ளிவிட்டு, உலகில் ஒருவன் தனி மனிதனாக வாழ்ந்திட இயலாது. எனினும் மகிழ்ச்சியும் சோகமும் ஒரு மனிதனின் வாழ்க்கையில் வ்ருவதற்கு பிறரை காரணம் காட்டுவது சரியாகுமா?

 

”தீதும் நன்றும் பிறர் தர வாரா” என்ற திருமூலரின் வாக்கை நோக்கிடின், நமது நன்மைக்கும் தீமைக்கும் காரணம் நாமே என்பது புரியும். நம்முடைய மகிழ்ச்சியின் அளவுகோளை நிர்ணயிப்பது நாமே. ஒரு சிலர் நம்மோடு இருந்தால் மகிழ்ச்சி யென்றும் ஒரு சிலர் நம்மோடு இருந்தால் தொந்தரவு என்றும் நிர்ணயிப்பது நாமே. எனவே மகிழ்ச்சிக்கும் சோகத்திற்கும் காரணம் நாமே தவிர வேறு யாரும் இல்லை. சின்ன சின்ன நிகழ்விலும், வாழ்வின் சோகங்களிலும் மகிழ்வினை காண எண்ணினால், நம் வாழ்கையென்றும் சொர்கவாசமே.  

தோள் கொடுக்கும் கவிதை

ஒவ்வொரு மனிதனும் தனக்குத் துன்பம் வரும் வேளையில், தன்னுடைய துன்பத்தைப் பகிர்ந்திடவும் தமக்கு ஆறுதல் கூறிடவும் யாரையேனும் தேடுவது வழக்கம். அப்படித் தேடும் பொழுது யாரெனும் அவனுக்கு தோள் கொடுத்தால் அவன் மிகவும் பாக்கியம் செய்தவன் என்றே கருதவேண்டும். அத்தகைய நிலையில் அவனோடு நின்று அவனைத் தாங்குபவர்களே, அவனுடைய உண்மையான நண்பர்கள் என்று உணர்ந்துகொள்ளலாம். எனினும் பல வேளைகளில், நமது பிரச்சனை என்ன? நமது கவலை என்ன? என்றே புரிந்துகொள்ள முடியாமல் நமது நண்பர்களை, அவர்களுடைய வாழ்க்கைச் சூழலும் காலமும் தடுக்கலாம். அதற்காக அவர்கள் நம்முடைய நல்ல நண்பர்களாக இல்லை என்று எண்ணிவிட்டால், எந்த ஒரு அன்பையும் சந்தேகிக்கும் சூழலுக்குத் தள்ளப்படுவொம். அதனால் தான் யாரிடமும் எதையும் எதிர்பார்க்காம்ல் நம் அன்பை தர வேண்டும் என என்னுடைய முந்தைய பதிவுகளில் குறிப்பிட்டிருந்தேன். நம் அன்புக்கு பதிலாக அன்பை எதிர்பார்த்தால், சில நேரங்களில் ஏமாற்றத்திற்க்கு உள்ளாகி வாழ்வினை வெறுக்க நேரிடும்.

எனவே, கூடிய மட்டும் எனக்கு நானே அறுதலாய் இருந்திட முயல்வேன். எனினும் என் மனதிற்கள் மரைத்து வைத்திடும் சோகங்களை நான் சொல்லாமலே உணர்ந்து, அறுதல் தரும் என் நண்பர்களை எண்ணும் பொழுது அளவில்லா பெருமையும் மகிழ்வும் அடைகிறேன்.

என்னை நானே அறுதல் படுத்திக் கொள்ள எனக்கு உதவுபவர், மகாகவி சுப்ரமணிய பாரதியார். அவர் எப்படி எனக்கு உதவினார் என உங்களுக்கு தோன்றலாம். அவரது இறவா புகழ்நிறை கவிதைகள் மூலமே என்னை அவர் தேற்றுகிறார். நீங்களும் பயனடைய அந்த கவிதையினை உங்களுக்கு வழங்குகிறேன்.

 

“ எப்போதுஞ் சென்றதையே சிந்தை செய்து

  கொன்றழிக்கும் கவலை யெனும் குழியில் வீழ்ந்து

  குமையாதீர்! சென்றதனைக் குறித்தல் வேண்டா

  இன்று புதிதாய்ப் பிறந்தோமென்று நீவிர்

  எண்ணமதைத் திண்ணமுற இசைத்துக் கொண்டு

  தின்று விளையாடி இன்புற்றிருந்து வாழ்வீர்

  தீமையெல்லாம் அழிந்துபோம் திரும்பி வாரா... “

 

என் மனம் வருந்தும் வேளையில், இந்த கவிதையினை எண்ணுவேன். அடுத்த நிமிடம், என் உள்ளத்தில் துன்பம் மறைந்து புதுப்பிறப்பாய் நான் மாறிடுவேன். நீங்களும் இந்த கவிதையினை, அதன் கருத்தினை அறிந்து படியுங்கள். உங்கள் கவலையும் காற்றாய் பறந்திடும்.

 

குறிப்பு: இந்த பதிவில் எதேனும் எழுத்துப் பிளைகள் இருப்பின், அதனை உடனே எனக்குத் தெரியப்படுத்தவும்.

Real Happiness...

Have you ever experienced the real happiness in your life? You may think it is a stupid question. But my question is entirely different from what you think. Life is a collection of happiness and sorrow. So evryone might have experienced happiness. But it is not the happiness what I am tAlking about. What i think can be easily understood from the following story...

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn't hear the band - he could see it. In his mind's eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed.

One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away.

As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window.

The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."

 

From the above story you might have come to understand that there is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. This is the real happiness. Some of us think that watching movies, hearing music, taking drugs, smoking etc gives happiness. But if you think, they are not true happiness. Once we come out of them, we are again in the same world with the same problems. But the real happiness is only by helping others. By bringing happiness to others without any expectation, we feel hundred percent satisfaction and happiness.Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled.

If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.

Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present. Make it beautiful by helping others.

Brave act

Recently I heard about an interesting incident which happened before India was ruled by the British East India Company. We all know that, the English people came to India for business and they established their colonies here. On seeing the wealth of India, they started capturing places and brought the entire India under their control. They captured all the ports all around India which will be very helpful for them for transport. 

 There is a natural port at Colachel, in Kanyakumari District of Tamilnadu , India. It is one of the places which suffered a lot during tsunami recently. When Dutch soldiers tried to capture this port, the people around here, cut palm trees and placed on the carts. They parked all these carts with a palm tree laid on it on the shores. On seeing this from a distance, the Dutch soldiers thought that tanks have been parked to shoot against them. So immediately they ran out of that place. It is really amazing to know about the brave act of the people of Colachel.

தமிழ் பண்பாடு

அன்று வகுப்பில் தமிழ் திரைபடங்களுக்கு ஏன் ஆஸ்கர் விருதுகள் கிடைப்பதில்லை என்று ஒரு விவாதம் நடைபெற்றுக் கொண்டிருந்தது. அனைவரும் ஒரிரு காரணங்களை எடுத்துரைத்துக்கொண்டிருந்தனர். நான் அவர்களிடம் பதிவு செய்த எனது கருதுகள்: ஏன் தமிழ் திரைபடங்கள் வெள்ளையனிடம் ஆங்கிகாரம் பெற வேண்டும் என விரும்புகிறீர்கள். இந்த எண்ணம் நம் எண்ணங்கள் இன்னும் வெள்ளையனிடம் அடிமைபெற்றிருக்கின்றது என்பதற்கு எடுத்துக்காட்டு. இது நம் மாண்பிற்கு எதிரானது. தமிழன் என்றும் கலையில் மற்றவர்களுக்குக் குறைந்தவனல்ல. ஒவ்வொரு நாட்டிற்கும் வெவ்வேறு பண்பாடு உள்ளது. எனவே நம் திரைப்படங்கள் பல வேளைகளில் பிறரால் புரிந்திட இயலாமல் போகும். அதற்காக அது தரமான படைப்பு இல்லை என்று சொல்ல இயலாது. உடனே, என்னுடைய நண்பன் தமிழ் பண்பாடு என்றால் என்ன என்று வினவினான்.

நம் பண்பாடு என்னவென்று கூட இவர்களுக்கு தெரியவில்லை என்றால் எப்படி நம் நாட்டின் பெருமையையும் நம் மொழியின் பெருமையையும் உணர முடியும் என்று எனக்குள் ஒரு அங்கலாய்ப்பு. நம் பண்பாட்டை இவர்களுக்கு எப்படி புரிய வைப்பது ?

பண்பாடு என்பது ஒரு இனதின் வாழ்க்கை முறை. அது அந்த இனத்தின் மனசாட்சி. தன் பண்பாட்டோடு வாழும் பொழுது தான் அந்த இனம் வளருகிறது. பண்பாட்டை இழந்த இனம், உயிரில்லாத பிணமே. நம் பண்பாடு என்னவென்றே நாம் அறியவில்லை என்றால், நாம் எப்படி மாண்புள்ளவர்களாக இருக்க முடியும்.

இல்வாழ்க்கையில் இணைந்தது முதல் உலகை விட்டு பிரியும் வரை ஒருவனுக்கு ஒருத்தி என்று வாழ்வதே தமிழினம் உலகுக்குக் கற்றுத் தந்த பண்பாடு.

அப்பா, அம்மா, அண்ணன், தங்கை, தாத்தா, பாட்டி, பெரியப்பா, பெரியம்மா, சித்தப்பா, சித்தி, மாமா, மாமி என்று எல்லா உறவுகளுக்கும் மதிப்பளித்து உறவுகளைப் போற்றி அன்பு பாராட்டுவதே, தமிழ் மண்ணின் பண்பாடு.

உலகமே மிருகங்களாய் காடுகளில் உலாவிக்கொண்டிருக்கும் பொழுது, மொழியை எப்படி பேச வேண்டும், வாழ்வினை எப்படி வாழ வேண்டும் என்று இலக்கணம் எழுதிய அகத்தியனும் தொல்காப்பியனும் கொடுத்தது தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

பல ஆயிரம் ஆண்டுகள் வாழப்போகும் ஒரு இனத்தின் வாழ்க்கை முறையினை இரண்டடிக்குள் அடக்கிய வள்ளுவன் கொடுத்தது தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

தீமை செய்தவரையும், நன்மை செய்வதால் வெல்லச் சொன்னது திருக்குறள் கூறும் உயர் பண்பாடு.

நாடாளும் தன்னை விட தமிழாளும் கிழவியே நெடு நாள் வாழ வேண்டுமென தான் பெற்ற கிடைப்பதற்கறிய நெல்லிக் கனியை ஒளவைக்கு அளித்த அதியமான் நமக்கு தந்தது தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

சாதி இரண்டொழிய வேறில்லையென்று சாதியில்லாத சமுதாயத்தை சொல்லி, அந்த இரண்டு சாதியும் ஆண் பெண்ணில்லை, உதவும் மனமுடையவர் உதவ மனமில்லாதவர் என்ற இரண்டு சாதிகளே என்று உதவுகின்ற மனதினையும், ஆண் பெண் சமத்துவத்தை வலியுருத்திய ஒளவை வாழ்ந்தது தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

கடவுளே ஆனாலும் குற்றம் குற்றமே, நெற்றிக்கண் திறப்பினும் குற்றம் குற்றமே என்று நீதியை உரைத்த நக்கீரன் தந்தது தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

வாழ்வின் பாதையை நம்மை விட சிறியவர்களும் கற்றுத்தருவார்கள், அவர்களையும் நான் மாண்புடன் மதிக்க வேண்டும் என்று தகப்பன் சாமியாய் முருக பெருமானை காட்டிய வாழ்வு தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

பகைவரானாலும் அறியாதார் எவரானாலும் மகிழ்வுடன் விருந்தோம்பி அவர்களை மகிழ்விப்பது, மாண்பு நிறைந்த தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

யாதும் ஊரே யாவரும் கேளீர் யென உலகத்தார் யாவரையும் சகோதரனாய் காட்டியது இணையில்லா உயர்ந்த தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

அரசாளும் தன்னையே ஏகார மொழியில் பேசிட புலவர்களுக்கும், கலைஞர்களுக்கும் உரிமையளித்து அவர்களுக்கு மதிப்பளித்து கலைக்கு மாண்பு சேர்த்தது, தேன் தமிழினத்தின் பண்பாடு.

தன் நாடு வழியே செல்லும் பயணிகள் கூட மகிழ்ந்து இளைப்பார மண்டபம் கட்டிய சோழன் தந்தது, உயர்ந்த நம் பண்பாடு.

நாட்டின் நலமும், மக்களின் நலமும், வீட்டின் நலமுமே தனது மகிழ்வு என்று வாழ்ந்த பிசிராந்தையர் காட்டியது உயர்ந்த தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

தனது மானசீக நண்பன் போரில் கண்ட தோல்வியால் வடக்கிருந்து இறந்ததை அறிந்து தானும் வடக்கிருந்து இறந்து தன் நட்புக்கு பெறுமை சேர்த்த பிசிராந்தையார் வாழ்ந்தது நமது பண்பாடு...

தவறு செய்த அரசனை எதிர்த்து வாதாடிய கண்ணகியும் முறத்தால் புலியை விரட்டிய காவிய பெண்ணும் வாழ்ந்து காட்டியது வீர தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

தன் நாட்டுக்காக போரிட தன் தந்தை, கணவன், ஆறு வயது மகன் என யாவரையும் அனுப்பி வீரம் காத்த சங்க தமிழ் பெண் வாழ்ந்தது வீரத்தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

பெண்களை தம் கண்களாக போற்றிக்காத்தது தெய்வத் தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

மனம் கொண்ட காதலிக்காக எதனையும் செய்யும் வீரமும், சொந்த நாட்டிற்காய் தன் உயிரையும் துச்சமெனப் போற்றும் மறவர் வாழ்ந்தது தூய தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

எதிரி நாட்டுச் சிறையில் மானமிழந்ததை சகியாமல், உயிரை துறந்த மன்னன் பிறந்தது வீர தமிழ் பண்பாட்டில்.

ஒன்றுபட்டால் உண்டு வாழ்வு, நம்மில் ஒற்றுமை நீங்கிடின் அனைவருக்கும் தாழ்வு என இணைந்து வாழ்வதே இனிய தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

கன்றினை இழந்த பசுவின் துயரை உணர்ந்திட தன் மகனை இழந்த மனுநீதி சோழன் தந்தது நல்ல தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

படர்ந்திட வழியின்றி தெருவில் கிடந்த முல்லைக்கு தன் தேரினை தந்த பாரியிடம் கண்டது பண்பு நிறை தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

வாடிய பயிரை கண்டு வாடியது நமது தமிழ் பண்பாடு.

அறத்தினை காத்த மானுடம் போற்றும் இணையில்லா பண்பாட்டினை நெஞ்சில் நிறைத்து வாழ்ந்து காட்டவதே, தமிழ் அன்னையின் மைந்தர்கள் யாவருக்கும் பெறுமை தரும் நேறி.

தமிழ் மணம் போற்றுவோம்........

தமிழராய் வாழுவோம்............

Love, to be loved

This is a continuation of my previous blog ‘Friendship & relationship’. In that I mentioned that if you expect anything from others we should stand to their expectation. If we want to be loved, we should love others. If we want to be cared, we should care on others. This is substantiated by the following story. A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one. A long time ago, a girl named Malarvizhi got married & went to live with her husband and mother-in-law. In a very short time, Malarvizhi found that she couldn't get along with mother-in-law at all. Their personalities were very different, and Malarvizhi was angered by many of her mother-in-law's habits. In addition, she criticized Malarvizhi constantly.Days passed, and weeks passed. Malarvizhi and her mother-in-law never stopped arguing and fighting. All the anger and unhappiness in the house was causing Malarvizhi's poor husband great distress.Finally, Malarvizhi could not stand her mother-in-law's bad temper and dictatorship any longer, and she decided to do something about it! Malarvizhi went to see her father's good friend, Solvazhavan, who sold herbs. She told him the situation and asked if he would give her some poison so that she could solve the problem once and for all.Solvazhavan thought for a while, and finally said, ‘Malarvizhi, I will help you solve your problem, but you must listen to me and obey what I tell you.'Malarvizhi said, 'Yes, uncle, I will do whatever you tell me to do.'Solvazhavan went into the back room, and returned in a few minutes with a package of herbs. He told Malarvizhi, 'You can't use a quick-acting poison to get rid of your mother-in-law, because that would cause people to become suspicious. Therefore, I have given you a number of herbs that will slowly build up poison in her body. Every other day prepare some delicious meal and put a little of these herbs in her serving. Now, in order to make sure that nobody will suspect you, when she dies, you must be very careful to be actively friendly towards her. 'Don't argue with her, obey her every wish, and treat her like a queen.' Malarvizhi was so happy. She thanked Solvazhavan and hurried home to start her plot of murdering her mother-in-law.Weeks went by, and months went by, and every other day, Malarvizhi served the specially treated food to her mother-in-law. She remembered what Solvazhavan had said about avoiding suspicion, so she controlled her temper, obeyed her mother-in-law, and treated her like her own mother.After six months had passed, the whole household had changed. Malarvizhi had practiced controlling her temper so much that she found that she almost never got mad or upset. She hadn't had an argument with her mother-in-law in six months because she now seemed much kinder and easier to get along with.The mother-in-law's attitude toward Malarvizhi changed, and she began to love Malarvizhi like her own daughter. She kept telling friends and relatives that Malarvizhi was the best daughter-in-law one could ever find. Malarvizhi and her mother-in-law were now treating each other like a real mother and daughter. Malarvizhi's husband was very happy to see what was happening. One day, Malarvizhi came to see Solvazhavan and asked for his help again She said, 'Dear uncle, please help me to keep the poison from killing my mother-in-law. She's changed into such a nice woman, and I love her like my own mother. I do not want her to die because of the poison I gave her.'Solvazhavan smiled and nodded his head. ‘Malarvizhi, there's nothing to worry about. I never gave you any poison. The herbs I gave you were vitamins to improve her health. The only poison was in your mind and your attitude toward her, but that has been all washed away by the love which you gave to her.

'There is a wise Chinese saying: 'The person who loves others will also be loved in return.' God might be trying to work in another person's life through you."A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one."

Friendship & relationships

Humans are in any way dependent on each other. Maintaining good relationship with one another is very essential to lead a peaceful and prosperous life. In order to have a good relationship there should be mutual understanding. We should understand the nature of others and make them to understand us clearly. To achieve this, there should be trust worthiness in our words and deeds. Though we can know about others from their words, the real understanding can be done only when observe the environment and circumstances in which they life. That’s why Swami Vivekananda said, “Tell about your friends, I will tell about you.” The circumstances and the environment have a greater impact on the character of a person. So it is very essential to know about that also. Once you try to understand about others, you will find some negative characters about that person. We should be ready to accept that. But mostly people just know about the positive characters about their relations and when they come across any negative characters, they end their relationship. We should understand that there is nobody who is 100 percent perfect and good. Everyone does mistakes. If you think your friend is in wrong path, it’s your duty to show him the right path. Ending the relation will not solve the problem. It is just trying to escape. Next thing is whatever you expect from your friend, you should also give them. If you want your friend to be trust worthy, you should be trust worthy to him. If you want him to be kind to you and help you when you need, you should be with him when he needs you. If you want his care, you should care on him. If you want his love and respect, you should do the same to them. Because he is also a human who expects whatever you expect. Saint Asisi used to pray like as follows: “Oh my father, I don’t ask you that everyone should love me, respect me, care upon me and help me. But I just ask that I should do all these to them. Because I know that we will get only if we give. So give me the love and kindness to my heart.” As he says, if we expect anything from others, we should satisfy their expectation. My next point will be entirely contradictory to my previous statement. But you will understand my words through your own experience. We will be happy when we get what we expect. But we will in extreme happiness when we get something, which we didn’t expect. If you expect that your friends should say wishes and give gifts on your birthday and if they do so, you will be happy. But if you didn’t expect that and your friends do, then there is no words to explain the joy at the moment. So to enjoy extreme happiness, don’t expect. It can be said other way also. In some situation you expect something from your friend, but he didn’t do what you expected. So what will you think..? You will think that he didn’t consider you as a friend and this may lead to the end of a relationship. So don’t expect anything and have a lot of good friends who love you and care upon you which you don’t expect. If you follow this, you will feel yourself to be in heaven like me. I can explain this from an example from my life. One of my friend gave a gift on my birthday at the midnight exactly at 12o’clock. He had expected that I will be happy and will express my happiness through some words about the gift and a thank you. But as I didn’t expect the gift, I was in extreme happiness that I couldn’t say any word and stood unexpressive. He was disappointed as he expected my words. He was so sad that he mentioned this incident on my slam book after three years. He didn’t know how happy I felt when getting that gift. This shows that I was happy as I didn’t expect and he was sad as he expected. There is a story about real friendship. I believe it will touch your heart. Once, two friends lived at Syracuse, about three hundred years B.C. Syracuse was a Greek city, built in Sicily, and full of all kinds of Greek art and sciences. Unfortunately, at that time, it was also a dangerous place, for it was ruled by a man who was a tyrant, and had a nasty and capricious temper, named Dionysius. He ruled the city with iron hand and made everyone afraid of him. A number of people came under his terrible anger, and among them was one named Pythias, who was sentenced to death. This unfortunate man had lands and relations in Greece, and he begged Dionysius to allow him to return to Greece, and arrange his affairs. He gave him his word to return within a specified period to suffer death. Dionysius laughed at his request, for he did not expect him to return once he was out of Sicily. However, he said to Pythias, “Who would answer for your return?” Pythias replied that he had a friend, who would become security for his return, at the same moment, Damon, came forward, and offered to become surety for his friend. If Pythias failed to return, he was prepared to suffer death in his stead. Dionysius, much astonished, consented to let Pythias go, wondering what would be the result of the whole affair. Time went on, and Pythias did not appear, but Damon showed no uneasiness or discomfort. He said he was sure of his friend’s truth and honour, and if any accident caused the delay of his return, he should gladly die to save the life if one so dear to him. He remained calm and serene to the last day and o the last hour. His trust in his friend was so perfect that he did not grieve at having to die for a faithless friend who had left him to die. He declared, “I am sure, my friend cannot be late; the winds and waves have caused his delay.” At last the hour came, and a few moments more would have ended Damom’d life, when Pythias presented himself, embraced his friend, and stood forward to receive his sentence. He was calm, resolute, and rejoiced that he had come in time. Dionysius was struck with amazement at seeing the friends confront death for one another. A tyrant though he was, he did not fail to realize that neither of such men must die. He withdrew the sentence and, calling the two of his throne, requested them to admit him as a third in their friendship.

The way to success

In order to achieve success in our life, there are some steps to be followed. First one is to set your destination. We must have confidence on ourselves that we can do great things. Nothing is impossible for us if we have the confidence. So set your destination of success to be higher. Let your goals speak your uniqueness. Once you decide your goal, plan how to achieve it. Our plans should have two ends. One is the positive end and the other is the negative. We should plan for all the circumstances. That is, we should be ready for all results. Either we succeed in what we do or not, we should be ready to face the result. We should learn from each circumstance. This will help to succeed later, though we failed now. Work hard to achieve your goal. Above all, the important thing we should have in our mind is positive thinking. Don’t lose your hope at any situation. We achieve as we think. The following story will tell you the necessity of positive thinking. Allan applied for a new job, but as his self-esteem was low, and he considered himself as a failure and unworthy of success, he was sure that he was not going to get the job. He had a negative attitude towards himself, and believed that the other applicants were better and more qualified than him. Allan manifested this attitude, due to his negative past experiences with job interviews. His mind was filled with negative thoughts and fears concerning the job for the whole week before the job interview. He was sure he would be rejected. On the day of the interview he got up late, and to his horror he discovered that the shirt he had planned to wear was dirty, and the other one needed ironing. As it was already too late, he went out wearing a shirt full of wrinkles. During the interview he was tense, displayed a negative attitude, worried about his shirt, and felt hungry because he did not have enough time to eat breakfast. All this distracted his mind and made it difficult for him to focus on the interview. His overall behavior made a bad impression, and consequently he materialized his fear and did not get the job. Jim applied for the same job too, but approached the matter in a different way. He was sure that he was going to get the job. During the week preceding the interview he often visualized himself making a good impression and getting the job. In the evening before the interview he prepared the clothes he was going to wear, and went to sleep a little earlier. On day of the interview he woke up earlier than usual, and had ample time to eat breakfast, and then to arrive to the interview before the scheduled time. He got the job because he made a good impression. He had also of course, the proper qualifications for the job, but so had Allan. Is there any magic employed here? No, it is all natural. When the attitude is positive we entertain pleasant feelings and constructive images, and see in our mind's eye what we really want to happen. This brings brightness to the eyes, more energy and happiness. The whole being broadcasts good will, happiness and success. Even the health is affected in a beneficial way. We walk tall and the voice is more powerful. Our body language shows the way you feel inside. If you think you are sick, you will become sick. If you think you can’t, you cannot. The key to success is in our mind. Mind is a great magician.

Mother's love....

In this world, nothing is equivalent to mother’s love. It is the perfect example of real love. She loves her children without any expectation. Mother is the living portrait of God. So we have to be good children for her and take care of her in her old age. But in these days the number of old parents’ homes is increasing. I feel pity on those who had left their parents uncared, because our parents are the gift given to us by our God. I shall give an example of mother’s love through an incident. This incident took place at Scotland in the month of March of 1986. One of the workers in a farm gave birth to a child, one month before. Due to her poverty she came for work within one month of the birth of child. She took her child to the farm and left it below the tree and was working in the farm. Near that farm there was a hill. At the top of that hill there was a nest of an eagle. The eagle saw the child under the tree. It flew to the child and held it with its claws which caused bleeding from the body of the child. The child began to cry. The mother who was working in the nearby farm heard this and came running towards the child. But at that time the eagle, the eagle was carrying the child to height. She cried for help. People who working there, came running and tried to save the child with long sticks. But eagle had taken the child to a very long height. The people tried to convince the mother as it is very difficult to save the child anymore. But the cry of the child was still heard indicating that the child is not yet died. The eagle was taking the child towards its nest. The mother followed it by running on the very difficult paths of the hill. Her legs and body were hurt with thorns and stones and lot of blood was flowing from her legs. But she didn’t mind the pain. Her only aim was to save her child. She continued following the eagle bearing the pain. At last she reached the nest and fought with the eagle. After a long struggle she saved the child. But she was completely covered with blood. She couldn’t walk back from the village. She held her child along her chest and covered with her arms. As she couldn’t walk, she rolled on the path of the hill. Her entire body was pierced with stones and thorn. She reached the downhill. But she was in a very critical situation. The people there took her and her child to the hospital. The child was saved but the mother lost her life. Her sacrifice of her life shows the real meaning of mother’s love. Though all other people left thinking that the child cannot be saved anymore, the mother struggled to save her child till her death. Similarly our mothers also love us more than anything. Let us understand our mother’s love and be a good son or daughter for her.

Are we humans?

Every living organism in this world tries to help or show its care, when anyone of it is in danger. You might have noticed this many times. Predators like tiger, lion, etc cannot hunt a cow, zebra or deer when they are together. They can hunt only if anyone gets separated. But the humans are only the living organism which is considered to be the superior of living things in this world doesn’t have the humanity to help others when they need. I am not blaming all. There are some people who help others when they can. When we were having our seventh semester exams, some of my friends went out of hostel to get some photocopies. It was heavily raining at the time. So they waited for sometime in the shop. When the rain reduced, they started walking towards the hostel. At that time, they saw a person hurt in an accident and crying for help. He couldn’t move because his legs were fractured. He was laying there for 45 minutes. His blood mixed with the rain water and was flowing like a red stream. Though it is a highway with lot of traffic, no one was ready to help him. My friends wanted to help. Unfortunately they didn’t know the phone number of nearby ambulance centre. They tried all the help lines to find the phone number of the near by ambulance centre. Two of them ran towards the ambulance centre to call for ambulance themselves, as it is waste to sit there and try for phone numbers. At the same time others tried for phone numbers. They tried to stop the vehicles on the way. But on seeing the person everyone accelerated their vehicle. My friends shouted “At least please tell the phone number for ambulance and then go.” But nobody heard their voice. At last by the timely action of those two friends who ran immediately to the ambulance centre, he was taken to the nearby hospital. When the boys were trying for the phone number, they had called the police station. But they didn’t say the place of accident to the police man. But some how the policeman found the accident spot and came immediately. He praised the boys who helped the man. He felt sad that no one is ready to help when such accidents happen. Normally people used to fear that if they help anyone in accident, they have to go to court to say his witness. But in the above case, my friends were not asked to go anywhere. They didn’t have any problem. If we think that we will be getting into problems, no need to touch the person, we can at least call the nearby ambulance. It will be sufficient to save the person in danger. But no one is ready to do that too. We just know to accelerate our vehicles when we see any accident. We don’t think that at unfortunate situations we may be getting into accident and may have to cry for help. Do we need anyone to help us at that time…? What we will be thinking when people just look on us and accelerate their vehicle, like what we do..?

Do the teachers follow what they preach…?

Our great country is the forerunner of ancient civilizations. It has taught us that a teacher is one of the great people to whom we have to give our respect through the words, “Matha Pitha Guru Deivam”. We learnt in the two epics of India, that is Ramayana and Mahabharata, how much importance were given to the teachers. Even the Gods were considered as Gurus. That we can see in the following phrases, “Guru Brahma, Guru Vishnu, Guru Devo Maheswara Guru Shaksath parabhrama Thasmaiye Guruve Namaha….” But are we giving such respect to our teachers? Are the present teachers deserve our respect? Do they really follow what they preach? If they didn’t follow what they teach, how they can develop good citizens to our motherland? My doubts increase when I came across these incidents. I read an article in the recent Junior Vikatan magazine. It was about the teachers of a municipality school ill-treating the students belonging to dalit community. The dalit students have been compelled to clean the toilets. They are allowed neither to sit with the students of higher caste nor to touch the things of the higher caste students. When the dalit parents stood against untouchability prevailing in the school, the teachers have asked the dalit parents to get the TC of their children. The teachers are teaching, the song of Mahakavi Bharathiyar, “Sathigal illaiyadi pappa…” (There is no caste) and Aoyaiyyar’s “Sathi irrandolliya varillai satungal, neethi valluva nerimurayin ittar periyor idathar illikulathor pattangil ullapadi…” (There is only two castes. They are people who help others and people who don’t). But what they really follow..? They are showing bad example to our future citizens. I like to introduce you a great engineering institution in Tamilnadu in which I did my under graduate. I did my four years of graduation by staying in the hostel at the college campus. There are many child labors staying the hostel and working the mess. These children are shut in the storage room when AICTE or Anna university officials come for checking. They are paid very less. But they cannot be blamed for not going to school and working, because of their family situations. Hence our college seniors taught them in their leisure time. Several boys completed their 10th and 12th grade by this. As they completed their grade they quit this job and went for good jobs. This led to shortage of low paid workers in the mess. Hence our seniors were refused permission to teach the mess workers. What a great policy by great institution..? “We will not help and we will not allow others to help” Once, a new boy joined as a mess worker. He had completed his 11th grade. He wanted to do his higher studies. But he didn’t have enough money for that. Hence he started working in our mess. He became so affectionate to me. He used to come to my room and chat with me. After a year, he went to the deputy warden of our hostel asked for the salary for the one year, he worked. He said that he needs that money for continuing his education. But the deputy warden refused to give him salary and asked to work in the mess itself. He said “There is no necessary that people like you should study. Even a 11th grade is more for you” and refused to allow him to quit his job. These words almost killed the boy. He cried and pleaded him to allow him to quit the job. But our deputy warden refused. Then he went to our principal and pleaded him. The principal allowed him to quit. The pitiable think in this incident is, he was allowed to quit but he was not given his one year salary. He left the hostel crying, without the money for which he had worked almost like a slave.

Education institutions have become a place of business in this world. Because of this, the basic qualities of educated people have died. The teachers who have to be the examples for the future citizens are showing wrong examples. The teaching profession has been poisoned by such people.